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Archive for August, 2017

From EHarmony to Indeed: How can dating experience guide your job search?

Wednesday, August 30th, 2017

It seems to be the tragic plight of finding love. Most of us have been there—one person thinks they’ve found their dream relationship, but the other party isn’t so sure.

It can be similar in the job search as a candidate might think they’re interviewing for their dream job, while the employer isn’t as smitten with the prospect, or vice versa. Ultimately, what we’re all looking for is the sweet spot where the employer wants the candidate as much as the candidate wants the job, and in dating terms one searching soul finds another.

Determining Your Strategies

While some people choose to accept the first job they’re offered to gain experience in a field (even if they don’t consider it ideal), others may elect to hold out for a position that may come later in their desired field. Similarly, some desire to refrain from dating until they’ve found an ideal candidate, while others will date someone for the experience, knowing they will never be a long-term partner. So, should you ‘swipe right’ on every profile and apply to every job posting, or should you focus on the occasional stand out? Is one option better than the other when looking to land your first job? Not necessarily, but determining a personal strategy will serve you well.

‘Creeping’ Productively

Whether it’s LinkedIn or Instagram, healthy ‘creeping’ could aid your search. Most people are guilty of the occasional perusing of a new love interest or ex’s social media, and this same concept can be true in the job search. Following position openings, field-related thought leaders, and organizations that you admire can be a great way to gain both a better understanding of the field you are interested in and connect with other like-minded individuals. ‘Creeping’ on a potential employer can give you good insight into their background, what they deem important, and the kind of work ethic they expect.

Although it may be overstated, maintaining your social media can be even more important than viewing others. Just as you would be more interested in a dating profile with a picture, LinkedIn reports a similar finding, “LinkedIn profiles with professional head-shots get 14 times more profile views.” Try to view your social media as an outsider would, what perceptions first come to mind?

Taking The Advice Of Others Carefully

A job search is a very personal thing. Just like dating, every person you encounter will give you their personal opinion, story of their successful job search (or marriage), plea for you to stay in the area, or their 5 step plan to being employed. They will share their dominant narratives with you like, “when you stop looking you’ll find the perfect spouse or perfect job!” But, at the end of the day, the question remains: what are you looking for? They can’t determine your non-negotiables, and their ability to find one spouse or one job does not deem them an expert. Stay true to your goals.

New year, same traditions.

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

Everyone has seen countless engagement pictures flooding their Facebook timeline. It usually involves a man presenting a woman with a shiny ring, while she is caught with a stunned and elated expression to perfectly capture the moment. What we don’t often see, however, is a role reversal where a woman proposes to the man. Have we become so accustomed to the tradition of a man proposing to a woman that it will never fade, or will the gender switch become more common over time?

Redbook released an article on seven women who proposed, what it was like to propose to men and why they did it. These women all had a common theme; they were tired of waiting around for a proposal. One woman noted, “I knew I loved him and wanted to get on with it” while another states, “I proposed because it was time for us to move forward.” Some women want to take charge of their future; no matter what traditions they may break along the way.

When a woman proposes to a man, it is typically not perceived as an empowering act. The break in tradition can sometimes be seen as a desperate and unfeminine action. The man can perceive the proposal as taking away his masculinity. Men take pride in picking out the perfect ring and planning out a special proposal that’s relevant for their relationship. Taking away that experience (from a man) can injure his pride and make him feel like he missed out on a special aspect of his relationship.

As time passes and traditions change, so does the way we view customs. So why should we stick with an old fashioned outlook? Proposals should be unique to the couple, and fit their personalities. A marriage is an intimate bond between two people so what should really count is the love they share, not who popped the question.

We no longer live in a traditional society, that’s for sure. Should popping the question stick with the tradition or should it progress with the times?

Sorry, not sorry.

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

As women we’ve all been there, you are walking down a crowded street and someone bumps into you. Your knee jerk reaction is to say “sorry” to that person as if you’ve done something to offend them. Why is that?

Women are often afraid to be perceived as direct, rude or “difficult”, so much so that they will overcompensate by apologizing unnecessarily. By overusing the word “sorry”, it puts women in a position of subservience, and potentially makes others lose respect for them. Most women are guilty of this at some point, and it often goes unnoticed by those who have become accustomed to the habit, but we need to step back and think; are we really sorry? And if we are, what are we really sorry FOR?

From a young age, women are taught to strive for perfection. Society tells us that in order to be the “prefect lady” you must always look your best, speak eloquently, and be polite. Sometimes we can mistake politeness with compliance, just to do what we think everyone expects out of us.

CNN covered a Pantene ad (which has nearly 3 million views on YouTube) that depicts various women in the workplace who begin each statement with “sorry” when addressing their opinion. One woman says “sorry” while knocking on her boss’s door, while another says “sorry” when her elbow is knocked off the table by her male co-worker, while he remains silent. When you watch this video from an outsider’s perspective, it seems ridiculous that these women would apologize in these situations, but as a woman watching this ad, it is eerily accurate. Because it has become so accepted in today’s world for women to apologize for every little thing, it becomes harder to recognize. We need more ads like Pantene’s to tell women that they don’t have to be “sorry” for existing.

As seen in the Pantene ad, the use of “sorry” particularly in the workplace can be detrimental to a woman’s career. As women, being in the business world is not easy, even despite our progression in society. Some have a preconceived notion that female leaders in the workplace are not as strong as men in power. If you hold a leadership position in your job and continually say words like “sorry” or “maybe” before an idea or command, you may be perceived as a woman who is unsure of herself and her ideas.

Women need to make a conscious effort to stop apologizing unnecessarily and be strong in their voice. The more command that a woman exudes, the more respect she will receive. Is the risk of someone thinking you’re “rude” really worth being perceived as weak? So make a change, really think about your words and ask yourself, “am I really sorry?”