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From EHarmony to Indeed: How can dating experience guide your job search?

August 30th, 2017

It seems to be the tragic plight of finding love. Most of us have been there—one person thinks they’ve found their dream relationship, but the other party isn’t so sure.

It can be similar in the job search as a candidate might think they’re interviewing for their dream job, while the employer isn’t as smitten with the prospect, or vice versa. Ultimately, what we’re all looking for is the sweet spot where the employer wants the candidate as much as the candidate wants the job, and in dating terms one searching soul finds another.

Determining Your Strategies

While some people choose to accept the first job they’re offered to gain experience in a field (even if they don’t consider it ideal), others may elect to hold out for a position that may come later in their desired field. Similarly, some desire to refrain from dating until they’ve found an ideal candidate, while others will date someone for the experience, knowing they will never be a long-term partner. So, should you ‘swipe right’ on every profile and apply to every job posting, or should you focus on the occasional stand out? Is one option better than the other when looking to land your first job? Not necessarily, but determining a personal strategy will serve you well.

‘Creeping’ Productively

Whether it’s LinkedIn or Instagram, healthy ‘creeping’ could aid your search. Most people are guilty of the occasional perusing of a new love interest or ex’s social media, and this same concept can be true in the job search. Following position openings, field-related thought leaders, and organizations that you admire can be a great way to gain both a better understanding of the field you are interested in and connect with other like-minded individuals. ‘Creeping’ on a potential employer can give you good insight into their background, what they deem important, and the kind of work ethic they expect.

Although it may be overstated, maintaining your social media can be even more important than viewing others. Just as you would be more interested in a dating profile with a picture, LinkedIn reports a similar finding, “LinkedIn profiles with professional head-shots get 14 times more profile views.” Try to view your social media as an outsider would, what perceptions first come to mind?

Taking The Advice Of Others Carefully

A job search is a very personal thing. Just like dating, every person you encounter will give you their personal opinion, story of their successful job search (or marriage), plea for you to stay in the area, or their 5 step plan to being employed. They will share their dominant narratives with you like, “when you stop looking you’ll find the perfect spouse or perfect job!” But, at the end of the day, the question remains: what are you looking for? They can’t determine your non-negotiables, and their ability to find one spouse or one job does not deem them an expert. Stay true to your goals.


New year, same traditions.

August 23rd, 2017

Everyone has seen countless engagement pictures flooding their Facebook timeline. It usually involves a man presenting a woman with a shiny ring, while she is caught with a stunned and elated expression to perfectly capture the moment. What we don’t often see, however, is a role reversal where a woman proposes to the man. Have we become so accustomed to the tradition of a man proposing to a woman that it will never fade, or will the gender switch become more common over time?

Redbook released an article on seven women who proposed, what it was like to propose to men and why they did it. These women all had a common theme; they were tired of waiting around for a proposal. One woman noted, “I knew I loved him and wanted to get on with it” while another states, “I proposed because it was time for us to move forward.” Some women want to take charge of their future; no matter what traditions they may break along the way.

When a woman proposes to a man, it is typically not perceived as an empowering act. The break in tradition can sometimes be seen as a desperate and unfeminine action. The man can perceive the proposal as taking away his masculinity. Men take pride in picking out the perfect ring and planning out a special proposal that’s relevant for their relationship. Taking away that experience (from a man) can injure his pride and make him feel like he missed out on a special aspect of his relationship.

As time passes and traditions change, so does the way we view customs. So why should we stick with an old fashioned outlook? Proposals should be unique to the couple, and fit their personalities. A marriage is an intimate bond between two people so what should really count is the love they share, not who popped the question.

We no longer live in a traditional society, that’s for sure. Should popping the question stick with the tradition or should it progress with the times?


Sorry, not sorry.

August 9th, 2017

As women we’ve all been there, you are walking down a crowded street and someone bumps into you. Your knee jerk reaction is to say “sorry” to that person as if you’ve done something to offend them. Why is that?

Women are often afraid to be perceived as direct, rude or “difficult”, so much so that they will overcompensate by apologizing unnecessarily. By overusing the word “sorry”, it puts women in a position of subservience, and potentially makes others lose respect for them. Most women are guilty of this at some point, and it often goes unnoticed by those who have become accustomed to the habit, but we need to step back and think; are we really sorry? And if we are, what are we really sorry FOR?

From a young age, women are taught to strive for perfection. Society tells us that in order to be the “prefect lady” you must always look your best, speak eloquently, and be polite. Sometimes we can mistake politeness with compliance, just to do what we think everyone expects out of us.

CNN covered a Pantene ad (which has nearly 3 million views on YouTube) that depicts various women in the workplace who begin each statement with “sorry” when addressing their opinion. One woman says “sorry” while knocking on her boss’s door, while another says “sorry” when her elbow is knocked off the table by her male co-worker, while he remains silent. When you watch this video from an outsider’s perspective, it seems ridiculous that these women would apologize in these situations, but as a woman watching this ad, it is eerily accurate. Because it has become so accepted in today’s world for women to apologize for every little thing, it becomes harder to recognize. We need more ads like Pantene’s to tell women that they don’t have to be “sorry” for existing.

As seen in the Pantene ad, the use of “sorry” particularly in the workplace can be detrimental to a woman’s career. As women, being in the business world is not easy, even despite our progression in society. Some have a preconceived notion that female leaders in the workplace are not as strong as men in power. If you hold a leadership position in your job and continually say words like “sorry” or “maybe” before an idea or command, you may be perceived as a woman who is unsure of herself and her ideas.

Women need to make a conscious effort to stop apologizing unnecessarily and be strong in their voice. The more command that a woman exudes, the more respect she will receive. Is the risk of someone thinking you’re “rude” really worth being perceived as weak? So make a change, really think about your words and ask yourself, “am I really sorry?”


Millennials: the secret weapon.

July 26th, 2017

Millennials have a bad rap, it’s a fact. Words commonly associated with them are “lazy” “entitled” and “selfish”, just to name a few. But is that really what they are, or is there some untapped potential behind the superficial? The Millennial generation was the first to grow up with the experience of the technology boom. This rapid development of technology caused this group to become obsessed with electronics from a young age.

As the 77 million Millennials (defined as those born between 1977 and 1995) continue to enter the work force, they are seen as either an asset or a hindrance, but like it or not, businesses need to ensure they “play well with others” and that Boomers learn how to tap into them as resources. Millennials are tech savvy. This fact makes them an asset to any business. We live in a world where technology is king, so in order to keep up with the changing landscape; you need a Millennial who understands the ins and outs of the tech world. Business has switched from paper to screen, and in order to keep up with this change you need a team behind you that understands and influences this change. Millennials have developed a keen skill to transition business from face-to-face communication to connecting on an online platform. While face-to-face communication is still valued, technology is pushing businesses to develop their online presence just as much as in person. Through use of social media customers can feel their voice is heard, and the company can connect with anyone, in any location, in a matter of seconds. This type of development sets Millennials apart from any generation.

According to Inc., Millennials are now the single largest group within the work force, and will soon become the biggest consumer group as well. This means that Millennials will determine which direction your business will grow in. Rather than shaming them for their different style of working, try to gain a better understanding of why they operate the way they do, and see if it is more successful than the way it has been done in the past.

The traditional and structured work setting is slowly turning into a more creative, open-minded environment that Millennials thrive in. Millennials offer a fresh outlook that can be crucial for pushing your business in the right direction. This new way of thinking will help your business grow with the times, rather than be stuck in the past. Out of the box thinkers will push your business to the next level by gaining new perspectives in the workplace. Other generations may label Millennials as “slackers”, but in reality they just have a different way of doing business. As the world is evolving, so is the traditional business style. Because this style of work is different than in the past, outsiders may consider it as being “lazy”, but in reality Millennials are working harder than ever.

It’s no secret that Millennials can have a tendency to be obsessed with being successful, as seen by this generation holding some of the youngest millionaires to date. The problem most people have with Millennials version of success is that they can work in a less traditional manner and be successful. Their drive, although not one that most people are accustomed to, encourages this generation to put in the work and dedication needed to make their dreams a reality.

Millennials are the secret weapon that most businesses need in order to stay afloat. They bring a new work culture that is geared towards progression in all forms. Millennials want everything easier, faster, and better, which means they are driven to work hard to make this outlook on life come into fruition. Millennials are the future of the workforce, and are key players in the success of the business world.


Man vs. machine.

July 12th, 2017

Technology can be both a blessing and a curse. We are in an age where technology is constantly evolving, but more often than not, we overlook the potentially negative aspects of this rapid development to focus on the convenience factor. Technology has improved our lives in many ways, but we have to stop and think: what are the limits to this newfound discovery? Because modern technology, such as texting, is so new, we don’t know the power it can hold on us as a society.

We often use technology without thinking about the effect it could be having on us as a society. When we are bored, or want to avoid talking to a stranger, we often form the habit of pulling out our phones to dismiss making a connection, rather than having an actual conversation. This type of interaction has become so familiar that we don’t pay attention to what it could be doing to us socially. Are we using technology to escape our lives, rather than actually living in the moment?

The Huffington Post notes that technology could be ruining our ability to communicate in terms of how texting is impacting our social skills at the price of convenience. Is getting your statement across a minute or so quicker worth losing our ability to communicate face to face? As time passes and technology use gains more of our time and energy, it makes us wonder what the world will look like it ten years. Even now, you can look around the room in a crowded restaurant and see couples eyes locked on their screens, and children playing games on devices in the middle of dinner, rather than talking to their family. At some point we have to make a conscious choice to put our phones away and not let good old-fashioned conversation slip away. We should be viewing our daily conversations as “quality over quantity”, rather than the quickest way out.

Technology provides an outlet to stay connected in ways we never thought possible in the past, as well as a platform to express ourselves. It improves our lives in many ways, but it’s all in how it is used that makes a difference. Be conscious about how much screen time you use in a day, and put your phone away to have a meaningful conversation with the person in front of you. Overall the pros and cons of technology can be heavy on both sides, but in the end, we have to decide on our own if the benefits outweigh the risks. What are your thoughts; do you think technology is a blessing, or is causing society to lose value in face-to-face conversation?